Exchanging Policies with Policy Exchange
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we very excite by new report from Cameronist think tank Policy Exchange.
Today, Policy Exchange say councils should sell any social housing they got in expensive areas, build new estates in poor area, and relocate tenants to these new place.
Smolensk egghead, Student Arkady explain. “The only true authority, Pavel, is the market. It determines your right to live. Now let us say you have lived in an area of East London all of your life. Then suddenly the state decides to build some elite athletics facilities in your midst. House prices rise. Since you have done nothing to affect this one way or another, but instead have stayed within your home, passively nursing the social grievances which stem from social, educational, familial, representational and environmental deprivation, you immediately forfeit the right to live in your home. You are now too poor to remain in the place where you’ve been appallingly accommodated for the whole of your life. This is clear. Extremely clear. So clear Grant Shapps understands it. And has called it “blindingly obvious”. Or “obviously blinding”. It amounts to the same thing. So you have to move.”
“Where to?” I ask.
“Well, if the council sells your home to fund new build, it must obviously ensure that you cannot again make the same mistake again of letting someone regenerate your area, push up house prices and require your further relocation. So, they will need to construct new estates in places where no one wants to invest. On old landfill sites, near nuclear waste disposals, in the sea, up Eric Pickles’ alimentary canal. Anywhere in the North.”
My assistant Yuri and me is debate this point after Arkady leave. For there flopside of Policy Exchange position. You lose right to home when house prices go up in your area because you sit by passive and allow. So logically you keep right to your home if you stop investment in neighbourhood and depress house prices. So, we decide exchange policy with Policy Exchange. And our policy is this: tenants can keep their homes if they prevent economic growth in their area by, for example:
- Rioting. Burn down all shops and businesses in an area and just watch house prices collapse
- Agreeing to mass relocations of sex offenders to their estate
- Adopting similar open-door policies to drugs dealers, handguns and knives
- Daubing daily their otherwise desirable system-built warrens of dampness, cockroaches and subsidence with fresh faeces
- Rebranding, with signs like “Proud of Our Hartlepool” - even if estate is in Kensington and Chelsea
We offer this idea to brilliant Policy Exchange Director (and Harpo Marx lookalike) Neil O’Brien and also to Grant Shapps. Surely because it blindingly obvious, or obviously blinding, it be adopt as policy by UK government soon.
