Big Society, Big Bishop
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop we plenty angry Archbishop Rowan of Pelling of Canterbury attack David Cameron Big Society.
Big Society born in Russia. When Soviet Union collapse, public service system is disintegration. But happy for us, it replace by charity of wealthy oligarchs and gangsters. They provide welfare. In exchange for krisha protection money or political support. And our resourceful people do many thing for self. You not need comprehensive healthcare to treat gangrenous limb, when you got bottle vodka, open fire and axe.
David Cameron model his idea on our experience. He know when state withdraw from provide services, philanthropist like Sir Philip Green, Lord Ashcroft and Martin Sorrell build school, hospital and feed poor, in exchange for little more than army of free workfare volunteers, indulgence of HMRC, and death of Vince Cable. Prime Minister also know people will improvise and run own services. There now cross-party agreement to replace UK Borders Agency with Gillian Duffy.
Consider Cameron plan to slash housing benefit for under 25s. Yes, he respond to mix of youth unemployment and affordable house shortage. But not by force young people stay with parents in council house well into adulthood. He not Allegra Stratton! No. He know Big Society plenty more ingenious. Rich benefactors will provide home for young people. Housing minister Grant Shapps got space, especially since evict his brain to more suitable accommodation in hazelnut shell. Many youngster will build own residence, using Recycle, Reuse and Rehouse principles successfully pioneer on Brazilian landfill sites. And as Close Protection UK demonstrate during Jubilee, there much comfortable living space under London bridges.
So we disgust at latest intervention by Archbishop and Church of England. Plenty different from our Orthodox Church who contribute so much in Russia. Like their work to replace mental health services with exorcism and casting out of demons. However, Cameron got opportunity deal with this. Rowan Williams soon retire. And Prime Minister choose successor. So instead of appoint John Sentamu, I sure Cameron be radical. Not appoint anyone. But call for spontaneous public creation of Big Society Archbishop of Canterbury!
Imagine. Collective effort. Anyone can have bash at Bishop and come together to create perfect successor to Thomas à Becket. Stout yeoman who travel Ukraine in crusade gear supporting England show more understanding of religious activism than cerebral clerics. They be great as Big Society Archbishop and give clear moral lead on complex question like multiculturalism, vote for prisoners and minimum alcohol pricing. And they get support from specialist volunteers. Spiritual dimension be provide by Derek Acorah. Continuity in thinking on gay marriage come from Jim Davidson. And as all proper Archbishop must look plenty eccentric, face of new Big Society Lambeth Palace be John McCririck.
Of course it possible people too busy watching X-Factor to shepherd fellow man to salvation. In that case, Cameron got perfect plan B. He contract out provision of Archbishop of Canterbury Service to Capita.
