Hello, here in Smolensk butcher’s shop, local egghead Student Arkady respond to suggestion things look very bad for David Cameron by set another great song to new lyrics.
(To this tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55YTRNmgZEI)
That’s life! [That’s life!].
That’s what all the people say.
Your budget’s slain through April,
Coulson in May.
And Hunt’s on tomorrow afternoon.
I’m at Leveson, Leveson in June.
I taxed hot pies [Hot pies].
Then got funny with charity.
Backbenchers give me kicks
For my pedigree.
And they want Boris, Boris looks so sound,
Cos George and me keep U-turning around.
I’ve been a centrist, a Blairite, then Thatcher’s true heir, right?
Adored Mervyn King.
Polls went up, then down. Steve Hilton got out.
But I know one thing.
Each time I find myself,
Flat on my face,
Then Nick makes some tea and shares in my disgrace.
My knife! [My knife!]
Growth’s feeble, I can’t deny it.
I kept on cutting, baby,
That Lagarde dame’s gonna buy it.
But even Christine thinks a VAT cut is worth a try.
Ed Ball’s says “I told you.” And feathers fly.
I’ve hit disabled and paupers, had Beecroft and Portas,
Made trips to Beijing.
I’ve said up and down on caravan tax,
I’ve tried everything.
Each way I turn myself, embarrassments I face.
Why did I text ‘LOL’ and tell Rebekah she’s ace?
Crap life! [Crap life]
Crap life, and I can’t deny it.
My own side just wants me out,
Nadine’s never quiet.
But if Olympic glory fails me in July,
They’ll get a stalking horse up, in the late Fall. Re-ee-sign!