Double, Double Dip Means Trouble
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher’s shop, local egghead Student Arkady continue his tribute to Shakespeare and celebrate UK economy return to recession with this rework of witches spell from Macbeth.
Enter three ministers. Thunder, lightning, IMF warnings
PRIME MINISTER.
Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison’d measures throw.
VAT that renders sales stone cold,
Pies and pasties now not sold;
Swelling greedy City sot,
Cut his taxes quite a lot!
ALL.
Double, double dip means trouble;
Poor can’t earn, their hopes are rubble.
CHANCELLOR.
Fillet public spending’s take
Of our output: big mistake!
By our cuts reduce our staff,
Oh what fun, how we did laugh,
Add it up, though, there’s a sting,
Laid off staff can’t buy a thing,
So our ruse just makes more muddles,
Seeking growth our wits befuddles.
ALL.
Double, double dip means trouble;
Output’s nil, all’s burnt to stubble.
WORK AND PENSIONS MINISTER.
Scal’d down spending on the poor;
Single mummies aid no more;
Said we’d end the pauper’s trap,
Get them working: welfare cap!
Job snobs: stacking Asda shelves
Betters good for nothing selves.
Found no work, they’re now evict,
No home, or one derelict;
Let Sure Start be strangl’d. Child:
Grow more feral, become wild,
Rioting unreconcil’d.
All this means more social spend,
Deficit will never end.
ALL.
Double, double dip means trouble;
Wish there was a housing bubble.
CHANCELLOR.
Bankers spared for this mess, right?
All in this together’s shite.
