June 2012
11 posts
End housing benefit: improve gene pool!
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, local egghead Student Arkady throw plenty light on UK Prime Minister David Cameron benefit proposals. [[MORE]]
“Ending housing benefit for the under 25s,” he say. “Capping numbers of children you get child benefit for. Brilliant ideas, Pavel. But widely misunderstood. Commentators like Peter Hitchens say the UK benefits system incentivises poor...
Big Society, Big Bishop
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop we plenty angry Archbishop Rowan of Pelling of Canterbury attack David Cameron Big Society. [[MORE]]
Big Society born in Russia. When Soviet Union collapse, public service system is disintegration. But happy for us, it replace by charity of wealthy oligarchs and gangsters. They provide welfare. In exchange for krisha protection money or political support. And...
The Good Gove Days
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, last night we watch re-run of great British programme, The Good Old Days. Here sample.[[MORE]]
SACHS: Antediluvian [woooo], pre-lapsarian [woooo], retrospective, retrograde, reactionary rapscallion, Mr Michael Gove! [bangs gavel – applause]
GOVE: Thank you, thank you. Whoops, did I hear a gavel? My life, I thought it was Judge Leveson. Have a care there Your...
Dave Rave at Jimmy Diddle
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop we plenty impress by UK Prime Minister David Cameron attack on Jimmy Carr.[[MORE]]
We read in Volga News that when Cameron hear Carr said he only pay tax he have to, PM so furious he spill coffee. First time Jimmy Carr’s act make someone wet themselves.
Now in Smolensk, we got no problem with clamp down on tax avoid. For when happen, we applaud public spirit...
Mob
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we exhaust. Why? Oh usual. Been rioting. [[MORE]]
It start like this. We relax in shop. Slow day. Few customer. Assistant Yuri, me, local egghead Student Arkady.
“So, if he believed in reducing the power of the regulator all along,” Arkady muse aloud, “Why was he completely silent on the issue until after the McTaggart lecture…”
“Whuh,” I reply, trying...
After Sonnet 130
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we see David Cameron welcome Michael Gove initiative of make recite poems in schools compulsory and wish this be extend to members of House of Commons. Especially if got Liverpool accent. Local egghead Student Arkady has draft poem he say Cameron could recite to House to set example. [[MORE]]
After Shakespeare, Sonnet 130
Rebekah’s lies no longer fill The...
I, Clegg, Who Was Nothing
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we read in Volga News of astonishing, bravura musical reassurance Nick Clegg give David Cameron about his decision to order Lib Dems abstain in Hunt vote. Here text of his song:[[MORE]]
I, Clegg who was nothing
[To this famous tune >
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQnsN3um-iQ
I, Clegg, who was nothing I, Clegg, who was no one Adore you, and help you so...
Gay Marriage
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we read in Volga News about official new Church of England hymn on gay marriage for sing in churches from this weekend.[[MORE]]
And in cunning move, church has chosen this artist and her most famous melody as inspiration for new song > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DOHGhWSgQ8
Here words:
Uuuuup yoooouuurs Ian McKellen And Gay Times. What makes...
The Trouble With Families
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher’s shop, local egghead Student Arkady explain significance of David Cameron 15 minute abandonment of daughter.[[MORE]]
“It is a timely public admission by Cameron, Pavel,” he explain. “Not a leak against him by the Murdochs. No. Now most people will think that it was a typical confusion of modern life, you know, ‘But darling,...
Clegg at Leveson
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we think it plenty coincidence Nick Clegg called to Leveson next week, as last night I have dream about it. Here what happen.[[MORE]]
JAY: So, Mr Clegg, when you were making the tea, did you ever hear anyone talking about the BSkyB bid?
CLEGG: For the record, I don’t make tea.
JAY: Really?
CLEGG: No. David drinks coffee.
JAY: Coffee?
CLEGG: Yes.
...
Bunting Kills
Hello! Here in Smolensk butcher shop, we recover from Jubilee calamity.[[MORE]]
I plenty popular butcher in Smolensk. Secret? Keep quiet and let assistant Yuri do everything. But nearly two week ago, Smolensk oligarch Big Oleg send me on mission. He ask me deliver 50 boxes contraband Jubilee bunting to UK contact, Staffordshire-based Mr Cash. Oleg keen avoid official interference with delivery. As...
